Hey guys, it's been a while since my last post...
For the last couple of months I've been struggling with depression. As some of you know I used to be a mma fighter and after I realized how stupid combat sports really are, I decided to quit.
As all of you may know, it is virtually impossible to find a real martial artist... They are basically extinct. I started training alone, but it is much harder than I thought. There is no one to guide me, no opponents, no competition that I have been accustomed to. Also I am on a kind of a crossroad right now... I am about to graduate from college and I should choose my future profession. Should I be some corporate lawyer and chase after money or should I do something more altruistic but with less money... You know... The eternal dilemma... I lost any motivation for training, got fat, found it difficult to study, got depressed with but without any apparent reason. I've lost my way. I even deleted my profile from youtube and this blog. Couldn't see any point in anything...
Then couple days ago, I started watching sifu Lee's videos and reading the blog. I had a lot of catching up to do. It ignited a long lost spark in me. Although we're thousands of miles away, I really felt like I was a part of something. Made me think on what is really important. So I have a need to contribute more on this blog and with this concept that sifu Lee is trying to put out there. I might be physically training alone, but in way, I am not alone. Guess the modern technology has it's positive sides.
This my thanks for the inspiration that sifu and the rest of you have provided for me. Especially Ryan, I must say that your dedication is truly inspiring. For the guy your age...Just kidding :-)
One question for sifu... Is it ok for me to put some other youtube videos when I post something on this blog? I mean like songs, quotes and clips that can further explain what I have to say. I'm not sure what the rules are...
Anyway, thanks guys, I mean it...
Alex
One question for sifu... Is it ok for me to put some other youtube videos when I post something on this blog? I mean like songs, quotes and clips that can further explain what I have to say. I'm not sure what the rules are...
Anyway, thanks guys, I mean it...
Alex
Hey Alex, thanks for the nod to this old man, haha!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're finding some renewed motivation from the FMK videos, and sorry to hear you've been depressed. I wondered what happened to you, remembering how inspiring your first few contributions to this blog were... especially the video of your countryman, the judoka who worked at a private primary school in New York
I know how you feel, having no training partner, especially where sparring is concerned. I keep hoping that someone interested in martial arts, experienced or not, will witness me practicing in the park, and approach with an interest in joining me. But so far, not. Too bad, I love sparring. Still, there's a heck of a lot of training that really can only be done alone. I was just watching an old Muhammad Ali interview on YouTube, and he was talking about what it's like when you don't really 'HAVE To' get up early in the morning to train, that 'Eye Of The Tiger' thing, and how such liberty usually softens people. Your big obstacle, as I see it, is coming to habituate yourself to find joy in training, regardless of any future purpose (i.e. competition) you're training for. How do you find motivation without a contest?
For me, it's about two things at this point. First, I don't want to be a broken down old man, so I intend to exercise every morning for the rest of my life. Secondly, I have an artistic vision, where martial and mobility skills are important aspects of being a well-rounded, complete human being, in the natural sense. So in this regard, I'm finding ways to integrate fitness and martial arts practices systemically into my life as a practitioner, educator and researcher of traditional Indigenous ecological and social knowledge
And this brings me to the final point of my response to your post... When you graduate college, pursue your passion. Forget about money, it's over-rated. Happiness, joy, a sense of fulfillment is far more rewarding. Now, let's see some training videos :)
Hey Alex,
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear from you !
I guess each of us have to go to though things in life, we just have different ways to respond to it. Motivation is in yourself and comes from freedom in your training I guess. Go out in the wild, find anything to be a training partner : trees, rocks, ice...like Ryan as shown recently, there is no limit !
If you do sometimes feel strange to do these things, it's something good, you are mastering the ego towards freedom.
So, all I have to say is : keep up the good work !
Todai Ling
thanks for the support... I have some interesting ideas that I'll post real soon, be sure to check it out
ReplyDeleteLooking Forward To It
DeleteI thank you for making an effort to express yourself on this blog, this is what it is for, to bring together Martial Artist’s or just people in general who wish to promote the positive and creativeness in the Martial Arts, away from the violence, combat sport, and unhealthy ways of competition. You know I have been very sick for the last week. The most ill that I have felt in over 15 years, just a few days ago, I was experiencing severe depression going through marital problems with my wife.
ReplyDeleteI have already lost 5 lbs due to my physical/emotional/mental/and spiritual sufferings. I am in the process of recovery right now, but still very weak. So basically, I know what you are going through, I feel the pain, any real human being that has really lived, knows what you are going through, don’t feel that you are alone.
Expressing yourself is a great help, it is a therapy. Writing, making music, singing, writing poetry, expression through Martial Art, dance, and things like that can help heal you and make you more in tune with your true self within. During times of struggle, it is a valuable time for growth, don’t miss the opportunity!
Todai Ryan has become very active online and he is keeping the energy of FMK flowing while I am sick and resting. We need to keep the energy flowing, we cannot let it die, your effort to express yourself on this blog is keeping the energy flowing. Yes. Martial Artists are hard to find, but if we come together, we can make it much easier for other’s to locate where we are!
Feel free to post videos, writings, and pictures on this blog, I have invited you to become an author b/c I believe your contributions can add value to this kwoon. Keep your head up and keep on moving, keep on flowing, I will do the same.