Natural Beauty Over Artificial Beauty

A woman’s true natural beauty is no makeup and no clothes.  It is just you as is.  Few women accept this natural beauty.  They want to hide this natural beauty with the artificial.  They want to wear lots of makeup and fancy clothes to hide their true beauty.  When you hide your true beauty over and over again, you start to believe that the true beauty you have is ugly & because you believe it is ugly, it really ends up becoming ugly. 

The makeup destroys the skin and all the fancy clothing hides the physical flaws of the body that deserve attention.  When you hide behind clothes, you soon forget how important it is to maintain your physical health.  It is like having pimples all over your face and wearing a mask everyday & then eventually forgetting about the pimples all together.  Really the mask needs to be taken off & the skin needs to be properly treated and healed, in order to return to its natural state of beauty. 

The body can be deformed due to lack of proper exercise and then covered up with fancy clothes and soon forgotten about.  But when you have no clothes on, you see directly what parts of your body need attention.  You can then go through the process of proper exercise to transform you body back into its natural state of beauty. 

Typically we are born with beautiful skin, but all this makeup that women wear destroys their skin.  Being dependent on this makeup for many years ends up destroying the skin to such a severe extent that they end up becoming permanently ugly without this makeup.  And because you cannot wear makeup 24 hours a day, a woman can only hide the ugly face for so long before it is revealed.  So that man who thinks he is dating a beautiful woman becomes attracted initially.  But as he spends more time with her she will begin to expose her ugly face.  He then begins to gradually become repelled. 

He sleeps with her at night and sees her “ugly face” and wakes up next to her in the morning with her “ugly face.”  She then puts on the artificial face full of makeup and goes to work so that the public can see her “pretty face.”  She gets back from work and reverts back to her “ugly face.”  Now that the man lives with this woman, he no longer is exposed to the “pretty face” but only the “ugly face.”  Now he really begins to lose the attraction, as he was initially interested in the “pretty face” and not the “ugly face.”  He ends up becoming less intimate with this woman and searches for another woman whom has a “pretty face.” 

I see the problem is that women show their “pretty face” to the public and the “ugly face” in private.  What they should do is show the “ugly face” to the public and the “pretty face” in private.  A man prefers a freaky woman in bed that is a conservative woman on the streets.  Women should be dressing nice for the men they claim themselves to be in love with, they should not be dressing nice for the strangers on the streets.  If they want to keep a good man, they need to take care of the man at home and look good for him.  They should not be putting all this effort to looking good for strangers only to come home exhausted from all this effort in which to give her man the left overs. 

Being Real

Most people are all about the money, I’m not, I’m all about being real.  If I can’t be real around you, I don’t want anything to do with you.  

First Two Weeks Of Locavorism

While on the mountain a couple weeks ago, I made a vow intended to take me another step in the direction of whole-body and socio-ecological development I'm moving toward in my own artistic expression. What I promised myself was that for the next year I would eat only foods organically grown and/or naturally occurring in my local watershed. Further, I swore off all commercial meats except bison and elk (which both sell around here), although allowing myself goat products as a dairy option. I'm also giving myself permission to eat foods that are naturally occurring from other watersheds if they are given to me by friends or family who carried out the harvest themselves. This provides an opportunity for food gifting with my wider network that just wouldn't be possible otherwise

The reasons I've decided to take on this locavore challenge are complex. A significant factor in what's driving me has to do with food sovereignty issues and environmental ethics. More than this though, I simply yearn to live more fully as a true human being. And in my mind, a 'true human,' like any other animal, doesn't require grocery stores. I want my body to be made from the nature of the place where I live. I'm not there yet, but I'm on the path, and this year-long commitment will take me quite a ways in the right direction

So as of today, I'm two weeks into the vow and feeling fairly comfortable. Gone are coffee, salt and other imported spices, tropical fruits, pretty much all restaurant foods, and of course the remaining bits of processed garbage I'd retained after making several dietary changes last year. Even in this very short time, my appreciation for certain flavors is transforming dramatically. Tomatoes, strawberries, and homemade dill pickles are almost overwhelmingly delicious. They are my favorite snacks for the time being. Of course, I have it fairly easy right now, it's summer. The real test is yet to come, and I'm very aware of how fast the warm days are passing. Will I be able to put away enough fruit and veg to satisfy my desire for such flavors and nutrients in the long Alberta winter ahead? I guess we'll see

For now, I'm proud of having made the major changes I have since coming down off the mountain. It really is similar to confronting an addiction. I've yet to decide how I'm going to negotiate eating when I need to travel long distances for business. This past week, I spent a few days up north, but within driving range, and so was able to take food along with me. That won't always be the case. I guess, when far from home, I'll have to make due trying to eat as clean and local as I can for wherever I am

When you think about it, eating really is our primary connection to place, ecology... all the big stuff. I think there's something deeply spiritual about becoming more conscious and deliberate in our engagements with food, not just for the selfish purposes of individual bodily health, but more in terms of the wellness of the life system, and renewing our natural roles in that. For this year, I'm lucky there are still plenty of farms locally where vegetables and berries are being grown and marketed. But for the future, I'll be looking increasingly more toward what is naturally occurring in my region

I Promote Love Not Marriage

I Promote Love Not Marriage

I am a promoter of love, not marriage.  Love is in the moment, marriage is of the future.  Love is something real and authentic.  Marriage is a formality.  Love is like knowing how to drive.  Marriage is a like a license to drive.  Naturally a person can drive responsibly without a license, but the law will not allow it.  Love has nothing to do with the law, but the law comes in, in order to profit.  The law comes into love through the label of marriage to profit from the marriage license, to profit from the court costs associated with the divorces, child custody, etc. 

The judges, lawyers, wedding planners, tuxedo stores, jewelry stores, and all sorts of businesses profit off of the marriage.  Without marriage, there will be no profit.  The law steps in to force people to feel that they need to be married in order to prove their love.  This is all profit motivated.  All movies reinforce this idea that love cannot possibly exist without marriage, this is a complete lie.  In actuality, the concept of marriage destroys love, it does not enhance it.  What enhances love are children and family, this has nothing to do with marriage or the law.  It has nothing to do with the judge or the lawyers.  

In love there are no contracts, love happens moment to moment.  How ridiculous does it sound “till death do you part?” Imagine if you were forced to have the same best friend since grade school forever.  Imagine if you were forced to have the same damn job since high school forever.  Imagine if you were forced to live in the same damn home since you graduated college forever.  Imagine if you were forced to go to the same restaurant every single day forever.  There are no real contracts in this life that last forever, accept for marriage.  It is a completely ridiculous idea. 

People should always have the freedom of choice, only then can there be real love, love is something that cannot be forced.  Some people do enjoy the same thing forever.  Some people do work at the same job, have the same home, have the same car, etc.  That is for some people, but not for all people.  Marriage is not for everybody, there should be other options available that are respected by society and not frowned upon.  Especially with modern society with everything being so disposable, marriage is simply not practical for modern society. 

What does make sense to me, is that if people are to be married, they should renew their vows every year.  Every year they should be required to meet with the courts to state whether or not the love is still alive and whether or not they wish to stay together in marriage.  That is something that is more real. 

Essentially marriage is simply like a public announcement of your “love” for a certain individual.  With modern technology, this can easily be fulfilled by FaceBook or whatever social media.  Dramatic wedding ceremonies are unneeded.  But of course this is not encouraged, as there is no profit.  No profits for the court or the State and not to mention all the retailers and businesses involved with the entire wedding ordeal. 

Divorces should be hassle free, not something that costs an enormous amount of money and frustration.  If it costs $10,000 to get a divorce, then couples who no longer wish to be together become more hesitant to get a divorce because they want to save money.  They end up not staying together because of love but rather just staying together because of greed, this is not real love, it is far from it.  Real love is when you have the absolute freedom to leave when you so choose but rather than leaving you stay because you truly enjoy spending time with the person that you love. 

Imagine being forced to watch a movie that you do not want to watch, that is like marriage.  You should never feel like you are forced to watch a movie, you should genuinely want to watch the movie and be excited about watching the movie, this is like love.  Love is moment to moment.  It can come and go, it can last one week, it can last 1 month, it can last 1 year, it can last 10 years, and yes it can possibly last forever, but it is never guaranteed.  Of course love can last “forever” if you die 5 years after getting married but imagine if you live for 80 years after getting married, 5 years is nothing compared to 80 years.  Within those 80 years, you can easily fall out of love and move on with somebody else that is more compatible with you. 

As time passes, people change, life is all about change.  Not in all cases will we change with one another.  Remember who your best friends were back in high school, see if they are still your best friends after college.  Not for all people will best friends stay the same. 

I don’t believe in promises because the future cannot be foretold.  Marriages are based on the promise.  A promise is of the future.  Love is never of the future, love can only happen right now.  Marriage has nothing to do with love.  Marriage is there for convenience.  Marriage allows you to use fancy labels such as “husband” and “wife” to boost your ego.  Marriage allows you to have your spouse take on your last name, another boost of your ego.  Marriage allows you to have a certain social recognition of acceptance, another boost of ego.  Marriage allows you to receive certain breaks in tax.  Marriage is here for business purposes and practicality; it has nothing to do with love. 

Those who are truly in love can get married in order to “play the game.”  But inside they know it is all mumbo jumbo.  It has nothing to do with love, love comes from within, not from the courts.  

responce to sifu's posts

Feddie,

As you know my wife and I both had our own issues in our marriage. During this time Jenny and yourself stood as a great example of being able to overcome difficulty in marriage. We do love each other and because of that love we are able to understand that what we both did was wrong. Marriage is not a 1 sided story, it takes 2 to write that story out and it takes a family to make the story into a lesson for others.

                After reading your last few posts the negative in your words is really out shining the positive. It is easy to tell you are feeling pain and frustration, and as I have recently been in that same place I can understand why. I cannot disagree more with you about marriage being fucked up. I honestly believe that in marriage you have safety and security for not only yourself but your family. You cannot place your needs whether they are spiritual, physical, or emotional over the needs of your family. This goes for both partners. If you have children in your family being stable and showing love to them and your spouse teaches them.  Being understanding of your spouse’s imperfections while being patient and willing to accept and understand that sometimes it takes them a little longer to get over or through things that we might not completely understand. Learning to love someone unconditionally gives us the chance to become enlightened and even though sometimes you have to go through hell to get to a better place it is all worth it in the end. Marriage itself can be a huge problem for people that get into it not understanding what it is truly about, people rush into marriage without understanding the commitment it takes to make it work. Both husband and wife have to make sacrifices and that is why we make vows during the ceremony. To love and cherish, sickness and in health (both physical and mental) rich or poor. You cannot judge another while not clearly seeing your own flaws. “Let he without sin cast the first stone.” I cannot rightly judge my wife’s actions without judging my own on the same scale, and I know she cannot judge mine without taking her own deeds into account.

                I know my wife is home with my 2 kids while I am at work constantly. For a long time I did not understand and felt that she was just complaining just to complain. Every day I came home to how tired she was and how much she wanted a break. I was wore out from working constantly and felt that what I did was so much harder because I was out physically working 8-12 hours a day 5-6 days a week. In reality I was wrong, simple as that. After having some time off this summer and changing roles while my wife works constantly and I am watching the kids I can’t wait to get back to work. I need a vacation from my vacation. I have a new understanding of what my wife goes through and why she feels the way she feels. Chasing after 2 kids all day is hard enough I cannot imagine having 5. I think that the time came for me to man up and finally learn to put my families needs before my own. If I give my wife a reason to be angry even if I do not understand why the fact, is she is still angry and I have to deal with it. Sometimes we have to learn that we do things that cause unintentional consequences, whether we meant to do them or not we still have to deal with what comes, and be willing to take responsibility for our actions rather than putting the blame on others.

                In one of your posts you bring up having more then 1 wife forces the other wives to behave, I know people from the middle east that grew up in this situation and I can say that they have the same problems as we do. 1 of the wives is always going to be jealous of the others. A friend of mines mother actually caused another wife to be stoned because she felt that she was being neglected. When you choose to use words such as force it implies against their will as well, Respect for women in general is something that we seem to have lost to a major degree in our culture.

Throughout time wives have always been there to take care of the home while the husband was out working or off in a war. They are the glue that holds the family together. When you start looking at your marriage as a contract you have  already lost the true meaning of marriage. It is not about a legal document, it is about a promise that you will be there to protect and take care of your family. When you say that adult industry workers are basically having many husbands, I have to call you out on that one. I know many of them from when I working at a “gentlemen’s club”, and not 1 of them would ever agree with that statement.  They typically cannot even do their job sober, and in the end it gets to all of them. I do not know a single one that does it because they enjoy it unless they have serious mental illness. (being abused can cause this so I am not saying it in such a way to degrade anyone.)

 

In the end it all comes down to who we are and how enlightened we are actually are. All of our opinions will differ on the matter, enlightenment for 1 is not the same as it is for another. If we let our own pride and arrogance rule our lives we end up being the thing we despise most. The root of the problem, and the cause of our own issues. If we blame others for reacting to use in a way we do not like but choose to not change the way we behave then who is really at fault.

 

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.   Buddha

 

                Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.   Buddha

 

                If there is love, there is hope that one may have real families, real brotherhood, real equanimity, real peace. If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material comfort you have, only suffering and confusion will ensue. Dalai Lama

Negative Spouse

Your spouse must grow with you spiritually, if she does not, she becomes your handicap.  If you’re not a smoker, but your spouse loves cigarettes and fills up the entire home with smoke, it will fuck up your health.  If your spouse is not spiritually developed & she fills up the entire home with negative energy, it will fuck you up psychologically.  Your spouse needs to grow as you grow, if she fails to grow and refuses to grow, it may be best to move forward.  If you take care of your physical health but your spouse does not, you may quickly lose your attraction towards her.  Not everyone is guaranteed to grow and develop, some people move backwards in life.  If your spouse is moving backwards and you are moving forward, it may be best to separate in order for you to grow to your full potential. 

Love is Not a Contract

Love is Not a Contract

The teachings of the Koran that allows the Muslims to have up to 4 wives makes much more sense than the traditional one man one woman marriage.  If a man is able and capable of raising more than one child, I do not see how he cannot be capable of caring for and protecting more than one woman.  The presence of other women will force all the women within the relationship to keep better order, knowing that the man can favor another wife when they start acting up will force the woman to learn to control her undesirable behavior. 

An entire culture of women that are used to sharing their husband with other wives teaches women to grow beyond jealousy.  An only child can easily grow to become spoiled, jealous, and possessive of his parents attention.  Growing up with siblings teaches you to share the attention of your parents. 

Women in the adult industry, strippers, porn “actresses”, are essentially sharing themselves with many men. They are living a lifestyle as if they have multiple husbands.  Many women have chosen this way of living.  Even women who are not in the industry that are having relationships with multiple men are already living the lifestyle as if they have multiple husbands, it is not uncommon.  The traditional one man one woman marriage is not practical for modern society. 

Marriage is essentially a contract.  I do not believe in contracts, it is either in your heart to love or not.  If it is not in your heart to love, then you should separate, if it is in your heart to love, then you can love.  Love cannot be saved for future use, love is something that happens in the moment.  Contracts are of the future, the future is not the Way.  Only the present moment is the Way.  The present moment is not bound by contract. 

Marriage is against "The Way"

Marriage is against “The Way”

Marriage is saving yourself for one person, the Way is sharing yourself with all.  It does not have to be sexual, I am speaking in regards to the spirit.  Marriage is allowing you to only help one woman and the children you have with this woman to grow spiritually, the Way requires you to help all of humanity grow spiritually. 

Marriage is being a teacher of the household, the lowest level.  The next level is being a teacher of a University.  The highest level is being a teacher for all of humanity.  Marriage limits your potential to grow; the growth potential of the Way is limitless.  Marriage is for the amateur; the Way is for the expert.  Marriage is a preparation towards the true Way. 

We must go through marriage in order to truly understand the deficiencies of marriage.  We must go through the ego and understand the ego in order to liberate ourselves from the ego.  Buddha himself was married, with a child & he saw the limitations.  He left this comfortable family life and decided to be a teacher for all of humanity, not just a teacher for the household.

The spouse does not want the sage to share his teachings with the world, the spouse demands the sage to keep his teachings only within the household.  The spouse wants to claim individual ownership over the sage, restricting the sage from entering into humanity and teaching all of humanity.  As the sage grows, he needs to cut off the marriage in order to continue his growth.  The sage may begin being married, not knowing the limitations of marriage, but as he grows, he will eventually be required to go beyond marriage. 

The great teachers of this world, Buddha, Osho, and Lao-tzu were sages not bound and limited by marriage.  Buddha started to grow beyond marriage once his interest towards enlightenment was sparked.  If the spouse is enlightened herself, there is no need for marriage.  Enlightenment creates the awareness of the limitations of marriage.    

Search, rescue, and duh

Yesterday was another day of ups and downs. An interesting thing, however, occurred involving losing my phone. Here's the two-part punch line: first, keeping a lot of garbage around makes finding what you lost difficult; and second, when something goes missing, don't rule yourself out as the culprit.

I went out to kayak on the lake and was gone a long time. While out there I was collecting trash into a bag that I found (also trash). I planned on being out for a while, so I took my phone – enclosed in three Ziploc bags and paper towel. Because this is a sort of meditative activity for me, I turned the ringer off.

Four hours later and much choppier water, I got back home, only to tip out of the boat and flood it. It was an ordeal to get the boat emptied and back ashore over a break wall. I was exhausted, visibly so, and a neighbor and good friend invited me to have lunch with him. I left my paddle, life vest, keys, the garbage bag, and my phone on the deck.

When I returned a couple hours later (Wimbledon semifinal between Murray and Janowicz, great show), I gathered up my stuff, threw out the bag of trash, and went in to my place to collapse. I woke wondering where my phone was, and I searched everywhere. I remembered going to the pier, I tried to remember taking it upstairs, so I...nope, I DID NOT call my neighbor because I had no phone. I was petty sure I left it...in the bags. Someone took my phone.

Yeah. I have no trust. I should have thought, "someone picked up my phone." Not, "stole."

The gist of the tale is that someone had picked up the phone bag, but thought it was also trash, and threw it in the bag I collected all the lake-trash in. Technically, I threw out my own phone.

I didn't figure this out until knocking on doors and looking through dumpsters for the bag I remembered putting my phone in. On realizing I had lifted the bag of trash I myself threw in to look for my float-bags, I laughed with relief and irony.

Anyway, if I smell a little funky the next time you see me at class, it isn't me. It's my phone.