Hi,
My name is actually Aaron. I was born in the Phillipines as you can see my profile name says "...Southeast" I've been here a long time now. The first state that I lived in was at Illinois with my cousins who have been here longer than me. Sadly, I only stayed there for 3 months, then I moved in California which it feels different because it can touch the Pacific ocean which my family want to go the beach everyday LOL. It was fun because the state is arguably multicultural like most of my fellow Filipinos said it would, but my awareness towards the ego in the US(but mostly in Western ideas in general) that's been tainting the authentic way(supposed to be) of human life did grow. I can see from the movies that I've been watching movies for many years depicting the US way of family life really had me torn because most cases of divorce conflicts where women blaming their male partners for ruining the family, but I think what most of these movies were trying to tell people is that most women had their ego that they always think that there are completely the victim, I mean who could blame them because a long enduring history of women's rights created such fears and 'awareness' that they settling in. As Todai Ryan would criticize that kind of 'awareness'(I watched his video about the current protest in Canada), I agree on what he was saying when it comes to settling to these type of 'awareness'(What I mean is some start implements an action which can really projects stupidity as a response to these bad happenings). As some of the women here were getting carried away, their resistance against their fear covered the truth as most of them see's the picture of what is happening to them more than what is happening to their partners. What made me lose it(luckily my friends 'cooled' me down) one day I was on Facebook(older version) there was an ad saying 'single mom needs cocks' with an addition of 'I don't want another serious relationship' it's that something that made me stayed in my room for a long period of time while thinking about this. I do respect women who breakup with their partners just because they're really being abused in common cases, but my conclusion about these 'women' that I kinda condemn is they're spoiled without any doubts because some of them think they're a victim of deprivition of freedom, but the truth is that when they can't handle these suffering that they have to deal with(as most Buddhist would say), they bring these pain to someone else. That's the awareness that landed to my mind after watching numerous movies and seeing ads. What everybody know currently is that men had created most chaos in the society, but I think it's everybody might create chaos for some reason. And, now I know the mythical story of 'Pandora's Box' was created for a reason. That's my first painful vision on what might happened to me here if I will get in to these types of relationships, luckily, I have a good family, and I embrace some of the ideas from the 'Straight Edge' culture(commonly being drug free) that will direct me to the right way until death.
These stories are just my first(I don't think it's really that good so forgive me), but hopefully I can really post something that are really heplful to your fitting. PEACE
Excellent post! I believe that the reason why society has many chaos is because of our own ego. The ego always play the blame game and never take responsibility for its action. Like you said, when some women cannot deal with their pain, they bring it to someone else. Same can be for the men too. Some men, after they came out of a bad relationship, they look for women only to be in bed with them and break their heart. What's even sadder is that society values these men! They value men who cannot deal with their pain and drop the pain to someone else. Of course, you are right. We are responsible for every chaos we bring to the world. Peace!
ReplyDeleteOki Aaron, welcome to the conversation. When I look at what's going on with marriage in particular, I see a couple of things. You are right, that men or women, after a break-up, may adopt a victim discourse, and deny their own role in the failed relationship. However, what what I primarily observe is that we are being culturally trained to pursue short-term benefits, and accept disposability. So many things now, both material and social - including architecture, furniture, appliances, automobiles, jobs, marriages, master-apprentice relationships, etc - are valued only for the immediate boost in utility, or ability, or social status, or EGO that are entailed in our early engagements with them. Everything now seems to have about a five-year (or less) life cycle. This was not the cultural reality of my grandparents, who were willing to stick it out in their marriage regardless of all kinds of infidelities and other discords, because their values were focused on the long term. Like their relationships, their material expectations were different as well. When they bought anything, from a dining room table to a simple screw-driver, they bought quality. With proper maintenance (which they absolutely did perform), it would be the last table or screwdriver they'd ever need. We're not being taught anything today about our personal responsibilities in maintaining either material possessions, or social relations. If something breaks, we either take it to an expert fixer, or (far more often) we throw it away and pursue another. And this is the culture I see carrying into marriages
ReplyDeleteLike my most classmates said "marriage is a joke, nowadays". They even admit it that they don't want to do it in a serious way and someone even prefer cohabitation. I have one classmate who's been divorced for many years. She's not afraid to admit the reason is the fact she's not having fun anymore and her kids are not even at a good condition. Thats my real life example there. My another one was when I was eating lunch at the sushi bar this lady with her 'hired expert' were talking(more like an arguing). She keeps saying on what she's been suspecting from her former husband negatively. Her expert sensed her bitter feeling towards her ex and ask her "why not give him another chance" and he said it to her face that she's the real reason why the family had collapsed after herresponse: "he's a douchebag okay" . I just ended up eating awkwardly and nothing was interesting in NFL TV, so I paid the chef and leave. Lol.
DeleteAnd this is the reason why my semi-conservative parents wanted me to became more devoted to Roman Catholicism as they think religion has something to do with strong relationships.
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