In
Love With a Dead Spouse
Imagine being in love with a dead
spouse. In order to be in love with
anyone, it requires a lot of time and communication. It requires special shared experiences. It requires much affection and love. Imagine being in love with this person,
imagine being in bliss because of this love, and then suddenly, this special
someone passes away. The person did not
leave you by choice; the person could have died in a car accident or a heart
attack. You cannot be upset at this
person, because this person did not willfully leave you; this person was still
in love with you before he/she passed.
How to deal with this pain? How to move on? This is a difficult situation, but you can
move on without having anger towards this dead lover. There is no anger because you do not feel the
pain of the spouse rejecting you, but there will be an immense amount of
sadness. Now how long shall this sadness
last?
10 seconds?
10 minutes?
10 hours?
10 days?
10 weeks?
10 months?
10 years?
10 decades?
Ultimately you decide how long you wish
for this sadness to last. If you are
powerful in mediation you can end this sadness as quickly as you would
like. If you know nothing about
meditation, the sadness and suffering can last a lifetime. No matter how long you decide to be sad, it
will not bring your spouse back from the dead.
If the sadness ends too quickly, relatives from the outside will start
to question whether or not you really even loved your spouse. If the sadness lasts a lifetime, your
existence seems to be pointless.
People think that the longer you are in
sadness, the more in love that you were.
That is not true, love is living, love is in the moment. You can be completely in love when that person
is here breathing and living, but when this person passes, if you are powerful
in meditation:
You can accept this passing with
gratitude.
You can accept this passing with a
smile on your face.
You can accept this passing with a
celebration.
There is no funeral for this passing,
there is a celebration. You are
celebrating the time you had with this person.
You are celebrating the end of the relationship as if you are celebrating
a graduation. You are celebrating a
beautiful experience in the past and the beginning of a new experience. It is an entirely different phenomenon than
what we are commonly used to. There is
no anger, there is no sadness, there is just a deep inner feeling of gratitude
and acceptance.
Now if you are a Zen Master, you will
be able to apply these principles to any separation in any relationship.
No matter it be a separation by death.
No matter it be a separation by
divorce.
No matter it be a separation by
infidelity.
No matter it be a separation by lack of
physical attraction.
No matter it be a separation by an
emotional disconnect.
No matter it be a separation by lack of
shared common interests.
No matter it be a separation by
boredom.
No matter it be a separation by lack of
connectivity.
What ever is the reason for the
separation, a Zen Master can accept the separation with a deep feeling of
gratitude. When you are in the present
moment, there is no such thing as suffering.
All suffering is caused by the mind, if you have no-mind, there is no
suffering, there is only awareness. – SFL May 30 2015
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.