Relationships

Relationships

Relationships are difficult to maintain, they are a challenge.  You must hold things in common in order for a relationship to last.  You must ask yourself what do you have in common with the person of whom you wish to build a relationship with?

You can build a strong friendship with a running partner until the person decides to stop running. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone who you like to play basketball with until that person decides to stop playing basketball. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone who likes to go dancing until that person decides to stop dancing. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone who likes playing chess until that person decides to stop playing chess. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone who likes to go drinking alcohol at bars until that person decides to stop drinking alcohol at bars. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone of whom you work very closely with until that person decides to quit to move onto another job. 

You can build a strong friendship with someone who likes to join you to go seeking for women a the club until that person ends up finding a girlfriend and loses all motivation to seek.

You can build a strong friendship without someone who likes to exercise with you until that person decides to stop exercising. 

When you lose things you have in common, the relationship breaks down.  If you no longer enjoy doing activities together, then there’s no reason to be together.

People mature at different rates.  What happens in a lot of cases is that if you mature a lot quicker than the people around you, you will find yourself being alone more often.  You might have had drinking buddies at the age of 21, but by the age of 25 you might have decided to give up that lifestyle, while your friends are still engaged in drinking, you decide to put your energies into other activities.  Because you have lost this common interest, the friendship ends up breaking down. 

People change, situations change. Life circumstances change.  Through all this change, it is very difficult to make relationships endure.  It requires a lot of effort from both parties to try to make things last.

A Baby's Survival

A Baby’s Survival

A baby cannot survive with just friendship.  A baby needs so much more to survive. 

A baby needs milk.

A baby needs food.

A baby needs shelter.

A baby needs clothing.

A baby needs affection.

A baby needs love.

A baby needs hugs.

A baby needs kisses.

A baby needs touch.

A baby needs verbal and nonverbal communication.

Friendship alone will not make a baby survive. 

An adult has the same needs as a baby in order to feel true contentment and peace. 

The only things that can be purchased from the market are:

Milk, food, shelter, and clothing.

The things that cannot be purchased from the market are:

Affection, love, hugs, kisses, touch, and verbal and nonverbal communication.

If you try to purchase affection, hugs, and kisses, it is prostitution, it is considered a crime.  And even if not considered a crime, it is unfulfilling without love.  It is like drinking spoiled milk or eating spoiled food, it will make you vomit and it will destroy your health. 

If you try to purchase touch, it is considered something like visiting a massage parlor.  Now this is not considered a crime, but there is a big difference when someone with much love is touching your body compared to some stranger that is touching your body for compensation.  There is a spiritual disconnect and that as well is very unfulfilling.  I is like drinking watered down 5% juice compared to drinking 100% fresh squeezed juice.  Once you have tasted the 100% fresh squeezed juice, there is no turning back to the 5% juice.  It simply is unfulfilling. 

If you try to purchase verbal and nonverbal communication, it is considered something like paying to see a psychologist.  There is a spiritual disconnect.  It is financially impractical.  It is like paying $100 for a small bottle of water.  It will only quench your thirst for the time being.  Soon enough you will be out of money and your will be back in suffering. 

When you are looking for a partner.  You are seeking a partner that is able to fulfill all the above necessities for survival.  As someone that is financially independent, you may not be dependent on your partner for milk, food, shelter, and clothing.  But you will be looking towards your partner to fulfill all the other aspects I had mentioned. 

Notice that there is no mention of sex.  The word sex has been severely corrupted.  We have turned sex into something ugly.  We have used sex as a way to exploit people.  But sex is simply an extension of human affection.  It is not absolutely needed for survival, but human affection is absolutely needed.  Sex that is shared properly is an expression of love.  Sex that is shared properly is something very beautiful.  Do not turn against sex, embrace sex as something beautiful, because it truly is a beautiful expression when expressed with great love. – SFL May 29 2015

No Contracts in Love

No Contracts in Love

“In a better, more intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any contracts.  It is not a business!  They will understand each other, and they will understand the changing flux of life.  They will be true to each other.  The moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say that the time has come to part.  There is no need for marriage; there is no need for divorce.  Then friendship will be possible.” – Osho “the book of women” pg. 51

There should be no contracts in love, contracts are a disgrace to love.  Love is in the moment, it is living, it is alive.  Love cannot be guaranteed; it can only be enjoyed in the moment.  People change, times change, promises cannot be made.  Promises are of the future, you cannot predict the future, any predictions are false.  It is up to each individual to fill themselves up with so much positive energy and loving spirit that the love of others will be drawn towards them.  Nobody is ever forced to spend time with you but rather every individual that is a part of your life cherishes every moment with you, they are truly attracted to you, they are drawn towards you, this is real love that is beyond all contracts, it comes from the heart.

Love is Beyond Marriage

Love is Beyond Marriage

“Marriage is a false substitute for love.  A man or a woman should be allowed to choose their partners and to change their partners whenever they feel.  The government has no business in it, the society has nothing to do with it.  It is two individuals’ personal affair.  The privacy of it is sacred.  If two people want to live together, they don’t need any permission from any priest or any government.  They need the permission of their hearts.  And the day they feel that the time has come to part, again they don’t need anybody’s permission.  They can part as friends, with beautiful memories of their loving days.  Love should be the only way for men and women to live together.  No other ritual is needed.”

“If man’s love is free, there will not be blacks and whites, and there will not be these ugly discriminations, because love knows no boundaries.  You can fall in love with a black man, you can fall in love with a white man.  Love knows no religious scriptures.  It knows only the heartbeat, and it knows it with absolute certainty.  Once love is free, it will prepare the ground for other fundamental rights.” – Osho “Sermons in Stones” pg. 559-560

I promote real love, not marriage.  Real love is living, it is alive, it is in the moment.  It is a private affair, it is nobody’s business, not your parents, not your friends, not your relatives, not the courts, not the lawyers, not the judges, not the policeman, not the neighbors, not the strangers, etc.  It is nobody’s business but for the two individuals who are deeply in love.  They can share their intimacy in private; they can truly enjoy each other’s company without any outside distractions whatsoever.  The love that they share together completes them and makes them whole.  It is something positive and healing. 

Once this love is shared, this positive loving energy is then shared with the world in every expression of that human being.  Everything that he or she does becomes radiated with love, now they see the world from a whole new perspective; it has come from SD to Full HD.  Marriage attempts to make love permanent, love cannot be permanent, love lives moment to moment.  In order for love to live, there must be constant appreciation, the mind has to be dropped, the past has to be dropped, the future has to be dropped.  True love can only exist when you are in meditation.  If you practice love with meditation, it becomes eternal. – SFL April 26 2015

Jealousy, Anger, Revenge is NOT Love

Jealousy, Anger, Revenge is NOT Love

I am quite aggravated with mass media promoting death, revenge, lust, jealously, possessiveness, control, manipulation, anger, etc. in the name of love.    Love has nothing to do with any of these.  Mass media is teaching you, if your husband has an affair, you must seek revenge.  Infidelity is seen as such a criminal act!  Infidelity is judged to be as worse as murder.  Mass media is teaching you that infidelity deserves the death penalty!  Mass media is teaching you that if your husband or wife “cheats” on you, there is no forgiveness, ever!

Because you wish to be affectionate and loving towards another human being of whom you are attracted to, this is seen as a horrible crime, every movie teaches this mentality.  It is no wonder we live in a society that is mentally sick.  You wonder why that cop killer, shot his girlfriend, chances are its because she was “cheating.”  There was also a famous black couple where the husband killed his wife and then killed himself because she was suspected of “cheating” on him with other celebrities. 

There’s another news article of a man who killed 5 people and himself when his wife left him for a younger man.  This is what is being taught to us in mass media.  If someone “cheats” on you, seek revenge; the person who “cheats” deserves death.  This person of whom you are intimate with, simply is on the pursuit of happiness, this person has found happiness with someone else other than you, to me that is not a crime, that is something natural, it is an extension of positive energy, it is a spreading of love. 

Real love knows no past; real love is moment to moment.  Real love the person shares positive energy to all whom are willing to accept.  Real love is like a Jesus or a Buddha, love is open to all, this then develops into what we call compassion.  Mass media has been destroying the meaning of love for so many centuries that we now think that hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, and murder are love.  These things have nothing to do with love. 

If your partner has found happiness with someone else, either you need to rejoice and share this happiness with your partner or you can be happy for your partner that he or she has found happiness and that it may be the time for you two to separate.  Separate not with anger and hostility, but separate because it was just the right time to separate, separate out of love.  Like a child going off to college.  Like an adult graduating from college.  Like an adult receiving a promotion from another company that has presented greater opportunities of growth.  Like the death of a loved one.  It is a natural separation, a separation with love.

A partner who finds happiness and love with another is either choosing to share his or her positivity and loving energy with another or the partner simply feels it is the right time for you two to separate based on a love separation.  Neither of the two is a negative thing.  It is all positive, it is all filled with love and should be accepted with happiness. 

If I directed a movie, it would go as follows.  Man and woman are in love, having great sex every single day and night.  5 years goes by of blissfulness.  Man or woman ends up meeting someone at work of whom he or she is attracted to, man or woman ends up becoming intimate with this new person, other man or woman finds out, man or woman ends up joining in on the fun!  Or man or woman accepts the separation with love and then ends up finding another great man or woman to enjoy intimacy with until the cycle repeats itself all over again.