Sunday, November 25, 2012

My Close Encounter with Death

My Close Encounter with Death

I feel weaker than I have ever felt in over a decade.  I am far from being an athlete at this moment and for the last week.  I have stepped into the shoes of those who are in poor health, I am dependent on over the counter drugs to try to help alleviate this pain, but the pain persists.  I find it hard to breathe.  I had a fever so high that I came close to hospitalization.  During this time, thoughts were rushing through my head. 

If I am to pass away now, am I ready?  Yes and no.  Yes I am ready because I feel I have totally lived life, I have no regrets, I have lived life the way it is meant to be lived, in the moment.  No I am not ready because I still want to see my kids grow, I still want to see the kwoon grow, there is still a big chunk of my Art that has gone unexpressed.  The combative aspect of FMK is still in the working in being passed onto the right individuals.  It needs to be a direct transmission or a transmission based on strong trust within the private videos I share with Todai’s, that is the only way to do it responsibly. 

I still wish to work hard towards the sharing of this Art.  But health will always be a concern; we never know what will happen.  Our bodies are so fragile, absolutely strong one day, completely weak the next.  Without great health, it is very difficult to stay focused.  It’s not about being old or young; it’s about whether or not you feel healthy.  If you do not feel healthy, young age means nothing.  Right now I do not feel healthy, I feel the pain and suffering that many are feeling laying on the hospital bed.  Health is of the greatest value, not money. 

Money cannot buy health.  Health comes with a certain way of living, but in the same token, health can be taken away very quickly if you are not aware.  Cigarettes and alcohol is a slow suicide.  A self-inflicted gunshot is a quick suicide.  Engaging in competition fighting is a slow suicide.   Speaking against combat sport is likened to speaking against cigarette and alcohol abuse. 

When you feel much pain, you want the pain to stop.  Traditional Chinese Medicine is known to have many natural remedies.  Western Medicine is known to direct patients towards prescription drugs.  We take drugs to try to take away pain.  We have physical pain and we have emotional pain.  An excess of pain can lead to death.  Death of another or death of yourself, pain can lead you towards hurting others or hurting yourself.  Those who are compassionate wish to hurt no one, but if forced to hurt someone, they would rather hurt themselves than to hurt others. 

Those full of hatred find pleasure in hurting others.  A monk would commit suicide before becoming a murderer.  But of course, no death is what we wish for, but there is no such thing as no death.  If we are fighting for survival, if there is only enough food for one to eat but there is two, the compassionate individual will allow the other to eat while allowing his own life to pass. 

A sage understands that there no such thing as death.  When there is no ego, there is no such thing as death.  Once you pass, you enter back into the ultimate reality.  Osho would say that he was never born and he never died.  That is the truth, we are never born and we never die, pay attention to the nature of reality.  Pay attention to the animals, plants, and the universe.  It is all an endless cycle. 


  1. Dear Shi Zu,
    I feel terrible for hearing these bad news, even though I am pretty sure a modern days warrior like you will overcome these difficulties. My first thought was : "I wish I lived closer from you so I could visit you" but it is, of course impossible for now.
    An interesting thing was that I wanted to send you an E mail, last week, to thank you for the products I received and to describe to you the situation I am living, which is very difficult too : no more shelter, problem with the family and no more car. There is also a sickness in me I have never wanted to talk about But I didn't send it...too proud.
    I also believed that the answers being within us, we have to get out of that problems alone, but feeding ourselves from the inspiration we share in FMK. I still believe it is the right way to go, but I totally can feel the difficulties Alex, and now you are going through. It also teaches us that anyone can suffer, and probably everyone does. As you always told us, yin and yang are always close, and we mmustn't take difficulties as a burden, but as a challenge. I'm sure you are willing to do anything that's needed to overcome it.
    Once again, thank you for sharing, and please believe that all my thoughts are going to you and your recovery.

    Todai Ling

    1. Ling, seriously? You're homeless at the moment? What's going on?

    2. Don't worry Ryan, I am lucky enough to have friends I can count on. Without asking for anything, I got several proposals for a place to stay and even a car to use. I will send you a copy of this E mail though, thanks for asking ;)

  2. Oh my God. I am sorry to hear these news Shi zu. I am thankful that you are alive to share your thoughts on health. Health is a very important aspect in our lives. Without it, we cannot live to the fullest no matter how old and young we are. Again thanks for sharing your thoughts and hopefully you do not catch a fever that high again.

  3. It's definitely no fun getting sick like that. Happens to me on occasion, working in a college around so many students. But I must have a pretty killer immune system, because most years I get by unscathed. Definitely makes you appreciate health though. Can you imagine what it would be like to have chronic pain or discomfort of that order?


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