Friday, December 21, 2012
Life has it's own will
Me and my father are really close, like i'm very close with my mother and my friends. My father once told me that life has a life, and he explained to me his point, which i think makes a lot of sense. Here's some of his and some of my thoughts;
When you get sick, wounded or weak, or when you suffer torture or when you get bullied intensely, there's a deep point where you wants to just quit. You might be very strong, very powerful, but when the extreme pain comes in, for long periods of times, you might just want to fell asleep and never come back, shoot yourself in the head or do whatever it takes to make the pain stop. At this point, it's like life does'nt care about your own will, it becomes independant, it wants to live no matter what you go through. That's why the human body can take unmeasurable amounts of pain and not die, just like the animals and all life forms. Life care but does'nt care about ourselves, it wants to grow, it wants to expand, it wants to multiply itself.
In times of war, or just when you really are caught in the struggles of impredictable situations, you might end up being the victims of one or many psycopath. Simply a human without compassion who finds pleasure in inflicting pain into others. This psychopath in question can keep you alive in hidden places for days, weeks and even years, inflicting pain into your body and mind ruthlessly. Once you go through that, there is no coming back, if you study 'The Rape of Nanking' situation, the victims of the agressors who survived could never forget what happened, they lived their life with horrible flashbacks and nightmares for the rest of their lives until the end. Many of them commited suicide because the pain was too strong to endure, but to be able to commit suicide, you have to overcome the own will of life which is very strong, that is why it is so hard to do. How can you get up day after day and rebuild your confidence when you have been raped hundreds of times, when you've been beaten almost everyday at school for years. You might go through intense therapy, but it will surely take more than a deceny to regain peace in your heart, at this point, only hope can keep you alive, or is it? Hope can be the disguise of that will that life has.
Understanding the suicide
I do not encourage suicide, i'm a optimist person who tend to encourage people, but when suffering reach the unthinkable, i can only forgive and understand the person who did it. To be able to overcome the will of life means you have to suffer a very great deal of internal pain may it be physically or mentally. At the same time, some people who commit suicide may seems to be coward, but are they coward? Really? I think suicide can be a coward move, but who am i to judge the pain of another being? But even through suicide, torture, war and depression, life goes on for the simple reason that it has it's own will.
At some point you gotta let go, you got to make peace within yourself and just let go. It is not necessarily heroic to suffer for fifty years. But if you managed to go through that fifty years and become happy again, you can be sure that you will have great wisdom and a very deep side which you can share with others.
It is not a competition of who suffered the most, suffering has no beauty in it, the beauty comes out of the heart, and the will to overcome, the will of life can be an ennemy but it can be your best friend.
Life on earth and chaos
The life like to be spread all around the place, and so it does'nt only live on earth. This planet might go to sleep one day, but life will find it's way into this chaotic universe. Chaos and life are like everything, they need each other, the will of life would'nt be as strong if chaos would'nt be so destructive.
A wise woman once told me
I met a sage one day, i asked her; I might never see you again, what i need to do, what is the thing that you want me to remember and she told me; Light in the shadows makes much difference.
It is what it is, life is no game, it ain't there just to be there and act stupid. There is purposes in this world for each and everyone of us. May you find yours and grow beautifully from within.