I had a helluva day today. I started the day searching for my house key at 5:30 this morning at the park just east of Sheridan at Morse...or wherever the Krishnas set up their little post-parade festival. I'll just say that yesterday was awesome. I started with a solo bike ride up from Rogers Park to the Great Lakes Naval Base, with a long and (LITERALLY) depleting ride home in the southerly headwinds. Then it was Krishna Fest, and then a dinner party with great friends and great food in my building.
At some point I realized that I had lost my house key. I found refuge in a neighbor's home, and I resolved to find my key at the park, but with no success. I had no home; I was locked out. Now, let me just say that I NOW APPRECIATE all the people who struggle with homelessness who don't just go to the bathroom anywhere. I had to GO, and it was hard to find a place where the menial employees didn't guard their business's indoor plumbing like it was the Holy of Holies (or the front gate of the Naval Base, where I tried to take my pic to commemorate the longest ride I have had since 1995).
While I will admit that it is kinda wild how much I charge to teach a game, I still think that locksmiths are a scam, so I put my mind to work and figured out how to save $150 and get myself back into my own home...which I did, sacrificing the overall shape of my door trim to make good use of a crowbar. I then rebuilt the door, said a prayer of thanks, and promptly passed out. I have never felt so displaced, and it is really uncomfortable to be left out of my own HOME...plus the fact that I prepared very poorly for my ride yesterday, so now I was recovering from that ordeal, while trying to prepare to train Monday night (rescheduled from Monday morning, because I was in a state of home-displacement. Not homeless, which I now understand to be something waaaaaay different). I got back into my home, then ran errands to finish repairing the auto-vandalism, and then my phone died as a storm came in. I walked to the kwoon to tell Shi zu I was useless to train. I'd be back Tuesday night.
Then I watched game 6 of the Stanley Cup. If the Hawks gave up, they would have faced game 7. Instead, they fought, they pushed, they took their opportunities, and they didn't give up. Within, like, 17 SECONDS, they tied and led the game, ultimately to win the Cup for the second time this decade. Whoo!
I want to give myself the grace to get to that place where I have trained and prepared to go to the last minute with everything I have, but today I felt my age, my strength, my will. I felt like, I have had enough today. I'm 44, this is pretty good for the last 48 hours. But life does not wait.
My goal? not to give up. In the meantime I have to let myself GET TO THAT PLACE. I hate to say to Shi zu, "I am wiped out." On the other hand, if I actually think I can keep up with Shi zu Freddie, who has made a life of this art we all practice, I'm being unrealistic. I have already experienced minor injury this way.
So, my goal is to GET TO THAT PLACE, but to let myself get there. The Blackhawks trained to be a team that wouldn't give up; I want to train to keep going.
Well done, Chicago Blackhawks. Enjoy your rest. In the meantime, I'm going to assess what I have and figure out how to build what I have until I can choose not to give up just before the end of the game.