Later on, when I got to school I could never spot that beauty again. I saw many hot girls walking by but I could not spot any beauty unfortunately. To me, they were all wearing a mask therefore they lack realness. All I see is ugliness in them. Whatever is not real is ugly. I met some women as beautiful as the woman on the train but some of them do not live in New York. Maybe the woman I want to be with is a woman with a spontaneous beauty. Not a beauty hiding behind the mask of society. I ain't got time for these masked women.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Yesterday, I was taking the train to go to school. I encounter a woman who was standing and use the poles to support herself. I would not say that she is so called very attractive. Yes she was pretty cute but according to society, someone who is attractive should be skinny with big breast and big butt. She does not meet these criteria. Furthermore, she was not wearing extravagant clothes. However, I saw a great beauty in her that my mind could not pinpoint at. When she got to sit with me, I told her: "You are beautiful, that's all I want to say to you." Now, I know some people might say: "Are you in love with her?" I am in the sense of seeing her beauty as is but as far as being in a relationship with her, no. Maybe that's what she was thinking when she heard me say something like that. She smiled at first but I notice the discomfort afterwards. My mind kept on wondering: "what's the matter with you? Are you crazy? What is so special about her?" That is the problem of the mind. It is a social phenomenon: it sees beauty only in the body but it is incapable of seeing the beauty as it is; therefore it needs to be dropped otherwise the truth will never come out.