Wednesday, March 27, 2013
My Insecurities and their Side Effects
It's about 3pm in the afternoon right now. I decided to write because yesterday I saw Jenny Lee's video entitled "Kang You Lost Your Brownie Points". I was thinking maybe I introduced myself to her bad side. I believe she saw my blog about a woman at the club trying to pickpocket me. In my opinion, she was a pretty lady and because she tried to pickpocket me, I started to believe that every lady that I think is pretty would do such thing. It was out of emotion and it wasn't the best way to think about the situation. If you watch the video, you are probably end up thinking that I have no respect for women at all. In fact, I never meant to disrespect any women or anyone; but it seems my insecurities are taking me over and starting injecting negative thoughts about women and maybe people in general. Insecurities are basically the ego. The ego as usual keep you from seeing the reality. It always stereotypes, it always categorizes. The ego is racist, sexist; that is why it has to be dropped. I honestly do not want to watch the video anymore. Not that I do not agree with Jenny; it is just that I felt so ashamed to even go so low! I cannot believe that I insulted every woman of FMK unintentionally. I wish I could meet everybody face to face including Shi zu Lee, Jenny Lee, Lian, Ai, Kiew, Ryan and everybody else so I can apologize to be such an idiot! Of course it is not going to change anything but I guess the only I can get my browny points back(lol) is to learn to control my insecurities or maybe get rid of them. I thought my insecurities only affected me but now it's affecting FMK. I better deal with them before it gets out of hand. That's not how a real Dragon is supposed to be!