Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Real Can't Be Changed

The Real Can’t Be Changed

“When you love, you project.  You love not to give; you love to take, you love to exploit.  When you love a person you start trying to fix the person according to you, according to your ideas.  Every husband is doing that, every wife is doing that, every friend.  They go on trying to change the other, the real, and the real cannot be changed – you will only get frustrated.”

“The real cannot be changed, only your dream will be shattered and then you feel hurt.  You don’t listen to reality.  Nobody is here to fulfill your dream.  Everybody is here to fulfill his own destiny, his own reality.” – Osho “ hsin hsin ming” – pg. 17

Martial Art students should not be exploited.  You should not fix a Martial Art student according to your desires and ideas.  The student should be allowed to be natural, to just be himself.  As a Sifu, you are there to remind and encourage him to be natural and real, to not try to be somebody that he is not, but to simply just be himself.  As a Sifu, you do not try to change the student. 

When the student enters through the door, it is not about the Sifu and what he wants out of the student; it is about the student and what he or she has interest in developing.  The student is there to fulfill his own destiny, not to be used as a puppet to fulfill the corrupted ideals of the teacher.  If there is the right connection between the Sifu and the student, the Sifu will be there to help the student achieve his/her potential.  If the connection is not there, nothing should be forced. 


  1. Very true. I think that is what parents will always forget. They need to understand that they cannot fix their kids. In attempting to do so will destroy the kids. However, parents should remind their kids that they should be themselves and stop trying to be someone that they are not. Parents in general do not appreciate their kids. That is why they will always want their kids to pursue so-called a good education which is really not education at all. Education has been associated with school and school put your mind in a box therefore the meaning of the word education has been severely corrupted. Many people go to school but few are educated.


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