I Promote Love Not Marriage
I am a promoter of love, not marriage. Love is in the moment, marriage is of the future. Love is something real and authentic. Marriage is a formality. Love is like knowing how to drive. Marriage is a like a license to drive. Naturally a person can drive responsibly without a license, but the law will not allow it. Love has nothing to do with the law, but the law comes in, in order to profit. The law comes into love through the label of marriage to profit from the marriage license, to profit from the court costs associated with the divorces, child custody, etc.
The judges, lawyers, wedding planners, tuxedo stores, jewelry stores, and all sorts of businesses profit off of the marriage. Without marriage, there will be no profit. The law steps in to force people to feel that they need to be married in order to prove their love. This is all profit motivated. All movies reinforce this idea that love cannot possibly exist without marriage, this is a complete lie. In actuality, the concept of marriage destroys love, it does not enhance it. What enhances love are children and family, this has nothing to do with marriage or the law. It has nothing to do with the judge or the lawyers.
In love there are no contracts, love happens moment to moment. How ridiculous does it sound “till death do you part?” Imagine if you were forced to have the same best friend since grade school forever. Imagine if you were forced to have the same damn job since high school forever. Imagine if you were forced to live in the same damn home since you graduated college forever. Imagine if you were forced to go to the same restaurant every single day forever. There are no real contracts in this life that last forever, accept for marriage. It is a completely ridiculous idea.
People should always have the freedom of choice, only then can there be real love, love is something that cannot be forced. Some people do enjoy the same thing forever. Some people do work at the same job, have the same home, have the same car, etc. That is for some people, but not for all people. Marriage is not for everybody, there should be other options available that are respected by society and not frowned upon. Especially with modern society with everything being so disposable, marriage is simply not practical for modern society.
What does make sense to me, is that if people are to be married, they should renew their vows every year. Every year they should be required to meet with the courts to state whether or not the love is still alive and whether or not they wish to stay together in marriage. That is something that is more real.
Essentially marriage is simply like a public announcement of your “love” for a certain individual. With modern technology, this can easily be fulfilled by FaceBook or whatever social media. Dramatic wedding ceremonies are unneeded. But of course this is not encouraged, as there is no profit. No profits for the court or the State and not to mention all the retailers and businesses involved with the entire wedding ordeal.
Divorces should be hassle free, not something that costs an enormous amount of money and frustration. If it costs $10,000 to get a divorce, then couples who no longer wish to be together become more hesitant to get a divorce because they want to save money. They end up not staying together because of love but rather just staying together because of greed, this is not real love, it is far from it. Real love is when you have the absolute freedom to leave when you so choose but rather than leaving you stay because you truly enjoy spending time with the person that you love.
Imagine being forced to watch a movie that you do not want to watch, that is like marriage. You should never feel like you are forced to watch a movie, you should genuinely want to watch the movie and be excited about watching the movie, this is like love. Love is moment to moment. It can come and go, it can last one week, it can last 1 month, it can last 1 year, it can last 10 years, and yes it can possibly last forever, but it is never guaranteed. Of course love can last “forever” if you die 5 years after getting married but imagine if you live for 80 years after getting married, 5 years is nothing compared to 80 years. Within those 80 years, you can easily fall out of love and move on with somebody else that is more compatible with you.
As time passes, people change, life is all about change. Not in all cases will we change with one another. Remember who your best friends were back in high school, see if they are still your best friends after college. Not for all people will best friends stay the same.
I don’t believe in promises because the future cannot be foretold. Marriages are based on the promise. A promise is of the future. Love is never of the future, love can only happen right now. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Marriage is there for convenience. Marriage allows you to use fancy labels such as “husband” and “wife” to boost your ego. Marriage allows you to have your spouse take on your last name, another boost of your ego. Marriage allows you to have a certain social recognition of acceptance, another boost of ego. Marriage allows you to receive certain breaks in tax. Marriage is here for business purposes and practicality; it has nothing to do with love.
Those who are truly in love can get married in order to “play the game.” But inside they know it is all mumbo jumbo. It has nothing to do with love, love comes from within, not from the courts.